Motivation is lacking today. Why am I doing this? I put on my normal gear- bike shorts, high impact sport bra, old tank top, running shoes. Opposing voices are simultaneously clamoring inside my head. "Just do it. Give it your best. What's the point? Just take it easy. You will feel so much better if you run. You will feel so much better if you sit in bed with a book and a snack." I compromised with myself and did 3 miles on the treadmill, some jogging, mostly brisk walking.
One week into my 3rd trimester and I have gained about 13 pounds so far. After I had Lucy I was down to "starting weight" very quickly. Here's a journal entry from a week after she was born:
Pre-Lucy weight was 205. My heaviest pregnancy weight was 224. I was 222 three days before the birth. At six days PP I weigh 210. Haven't tried on any real pants yet, but I did go ahead and pack away all the maternity clothes.This time around my pre-baby weight was 185; still heavy, but closer. So close to my goal of "normal" weight for my height. That's why I'm doing this, today anyway. There are other reasons, but that's what got me on the treadmill this time. I have to keep remembering the bigger picture.
Some days I just don't get in the groove, but that's OK. I have a personal belief that feelings can be controlled; even when they can't be eliminated, my emotions do not have to rule my world. I didn't feel like doing anything today, but I did it anyway. I am in charge.
